yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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