I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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