She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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