Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
