this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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