we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
