I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
