Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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