saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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