pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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