My room smells like vodka and shame
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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