and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
