the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
