No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
