I want you more than these girls want KFC
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
