The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
