Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
