When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
