therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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