Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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