did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just had sex bonerless
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
