I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
