Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
