I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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