So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
