Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
