i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your cock deserves a montage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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