I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
