I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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