Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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