do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
