I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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