1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Jerry, you need to find god
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
