so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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