He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just google imaged poop.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
