it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
