My Higher Power is John Stamos
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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