; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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