I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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