Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
