Too much gin, very little bucket
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
