Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
