he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
