I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
