Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
