is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just high enough for therapy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
