Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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