Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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