So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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