Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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