He had one of those small greek statue penises
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
