My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think people are normalizing furries
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
