Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
