One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
