I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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