i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
