The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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