let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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