What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
