i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
