At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
