Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
